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Thursday, June 9, 2011

AskAnjali: Should I accept this sexual offer or not?


QUESTION ASKED:
Hi Anjali aunty,

I am 32 years old married male and my wife is 28 years & we are married for more than 3 years. I live in Delhi and I am Satisfied with my married life except the sex part. My wife is not interested in sex much. We do it occasionally may be 1-2 times in a month. Recently we had a baby so this also keeps her occupied and gets very less time to spend together. But my problem is I want to have sex more regularly. I had a friend in my school days I will say just friend because we were never in any kind of relationship.

When she proposed me, I had to say NO because of my studies and other stuffs. She is also married for 9 years now and having 2 kids. Recently, she somehow managed my contact number and came in touch with me since last 1 year. After a gap of 9 year, we started as just Hi Hello and usual friendly stuffs. But gradually I came to know that she still loves me (Though I am not sure about it because I dont love her and never shown any concern to her). After usual chatting for almost 1 year now, a few weeks ago she offered me to have sex with her.

She wants to come closer to me, my problem is whether should I accept this offer or not? If I think about sex and my starvation for sex in my married life, I want to make use of this opportunity. I really want to fuck her hard as she is very beautiful. I never touched a girl before my marriage & post marriage till date. But when I think about my married life and emotional bonding which I am having with my wife, my heart says NO to it.
I am confused, what should I do? Please suggest!

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5 comments:

  1. Hi buddy so sad for your! here is the tool to relieve your pressure.. Decide yourself you need Pleasure or happiness.. the girl you met might not really love you after having children if she need you thats says about her.. change your mood i think you can’t go up peacefully after your sex with that girl! think sex is only healthy if it is with wife else guilty. have time with your family care them then she your women how she behave!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish people here would be sensible enough behind their concealed identities and a bit responsible in handling out there ‘one-liner’ advices because guys, you dont have any right to play with someone’s life. So please think and answer.
    Dear Crackjack,
    Bro, i feel you have the answer in your question itself! Just like any other offer, even this ‘OFFER’ will have a ‘expiry date’. So when it’s over, have you contemplated about what and how you will love your life. Are you going to search for any other offer then.
    You have said, that you are married to your wife for last 9 years! you have kids. You have even passed the ‘seven-year-itch’ period! So Bravo! You just need to rekindle your sex life. Talk to your wife. She is just out of her pregnancy. Women need time to balance everything in life. Surely your sex frequency is on the lower side. but she alone may not be responsible. Have you ever tried to find out what your wife thinks about this? I feel a short vacation is the best thing to have to re-live your sex life.
    About the ‘other’ female in your life, offering sex to you itself shows the desperate measures she is taking to get in touch with you. Have you thought about the consequences? She might be doing it for fun! when the ‘fun’ ends, what will you do? Do you consider yourself ‘stone-hearted’ to live the rest of your life with that guilt?
    I am no moral police here. If there were serious issues with your wife, I would have given out a different answer may be,
    But you too agree that its just the sex part and you love your wife and kids very much. So do not take any step that ruins your future life. Sex is lucrative but its beautiful when you have it someone whom you are made for and i guess you are sensible enough to know who that someone is…
    Just avoid the phone calls and any other contact. Time will heal your problem. Give more time to your kids. Think about them.
    Hope you take a wise decision!
    Take care!
    All the best! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, I have noticed several moral gyan in this forum…but dude…its your call…if you can kick your moral aside and live with a straight face after gettind laid by your friend, than what’s the problem…If you don’t get emotional with your friend, and treat sex as just another body need…then go ahead….”agar ghar ka kuan aapki pyaas nahi buja paa rahi hai…to pyaase marne se to accha hai ki aap dusre kuen se paani pee lain”…..so just separate sex from love….never share your love with anybody else but your wife…..but treat sex as just another body need…and you will notice that your love towards your family will increase….and guys this is not my gyaan…but a recent university study published in ToI states this point

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  4. I have seen a similar case like this.The girl ,though married,liked another office colleague. who was also married ,incidentally a love marriage.The man did not love the girl but was tempted becoz she was mad after him..It reached such a proportion,both the spouse got to know n it ended on a sour note.However i am sure that the girl had intimate relationship with him for a while,when ever an opportunity arose.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If ur thirsty and your wife is far away from you then shall you call her to ask her permission to drink from somebody elses fridge or shall you remain thirsty till you reach home even when knowing that you wife has kept her fridge locked?
    Or look at it like this if ur hungry and there is no food available at home shall you be ready to go out and eat a delicious meal at a swanky restaurant if you can afford to pay the bill?
    Unfulfilled sex is also like thirst and hunger beyond a point you need to get it. If your wife really cares for you like a pativrata naari he shall not leave your kaamvaasna thirsty.
    Now coming to your ex-girlfriend what makes her so eager to spread her legs and offer you sex. Does she too have any unresolved issues with her hubby or does she just want to have you to check out what she actually missed out during her college days when you said 'NO' to her.
    If Ur a father then she too is a mother so what makes her so bold and gutsy to have Sex behind her hubby's back. If you must take up her offer seriously check out that she is also into it for the Sex alone and there are no strings attached. Several women first offer sex as a bait before making unreasonable demands that could ruin your marriage.
    So you still wanna have her then go ahead but with your eyes wide open because it's your call so if you want the pleasure be prepared for the consequences too.
    One thing that needs to be known is did your wife have a low sex drive right from your suhaag raat n honeymoon days or did it dimnish over the past 9 years during and after the pregnancy? Another matter that is of concern is that you were coping with the two days a month inadequate sex for all these years so if your ex had not returned to your life you would have carried on with your marriage. You suddenly got hungry to have passionate sex because your ex made you the offer?
    So if you must go ahead then do so and make her your fuck buddy and enjoy what your wife no longer offers you and keep the marriage intact so that when you look back you do not have regrets of what you cud have had but missed out on.
    It's up to you to decide whether you want to think with your brains or wid your cock..So be a man and decide for yourself but don't have any regrets later!!!

    ReplyDelete

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